


Baths and Confessions

by Xaveroo



Category: 25th anniversary, Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo, London company, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber, Radley, Sheytoons
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Crush, Best Friends, Break Up, Bromance, Coming Out, Courfeyrac - Freeform, Cute, Domestic, Drunk Dialing, Enjolras - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy, Grantaire - Freeform, Hadley Fraser - Freeform, Hadley Fraser's ridiculously bouncy hair, I Blame Tumblr, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Killian Donnelly - Freeform, Les Amis de l'ABC - Freeform, Les Amis de l'ABC Shenanigans, London company - Freeform, Loneliness, M/M, Masturbation, Musicals, Radley - Freeform, Ramin Karimloo - Freeform, Relationship(s), Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Tattoos, bath smut - Freeform, cuteness, smut with plot, smut with story - Freeform, too much wine, wine drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:37:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2104800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xaveroo/pseuds/Xaveroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d not been able to look at him the same way, it had been difficult to deny his feelings before but after that night he couldn’t lie to himself any longer and hiding it from Hadley had become harder.<br/>With each performance he channelled his feelings for Hadley through Enjolras, the intensity of their relationship was so different yet so similar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hidden Lust

The rented apartment is still when he returns, everything as he left it but for Hadley’s suitcase in the hallway.  
He hears the music coming from the other end of the small apartment, Hadley must be practising though he can’t hear him currently, perhaps fallen asleep from jetlag, hopefully in his own bed this time.  
He’d had dreams for weeks after finding a half dressed, flat out, Hadley in his hotel bed.  
In his sleepy state he’d simply got in beside him instead of searching the man for his card key and switching rooms for the night.  
He’d woken again feeling constricted around the chest and a warm body against his own, a bouncy mop of brunette hair tickling his neck.  
It’d felt like the most natural thing in the world, the little snore was oddly cute and he didn’t even mind the dampness of his shirt where the exhausted performer had begun to dribble on his chest.  
He’d managed to extract himself without waking the man and had refrained from mentioning the intimacy of their night, which he thought might make his best friend uncomfortable or give him away.  
He’d not been able to look at him the same way, it had been difficult to deny his feelings before but after that night he couldn’t lie to himself any longer and hiding it from Hadley had become harder. With each performance he channelled his feelings for Hadley through Enjolras, the intensity of their relationship was so different yet so similar.  
The frustration of not being able to have him turned into Enjolras’ impatience and frustration, his love turned to Enjolras’ acceptance; understanding and gratitude.  
Those few moments of eye contact and Hadley’s hand sliding on his skin made him shiver, he’d almost forgotten himself once when they’d been rehearsing alone before the first show, emotions were running high, both light headed with excitement and nerves.  
They were running through the scene and as his friend’s hand cupped his cheek and ghosted his exposed chest he’d almost forgotten that it wasn’t real, hadn’t been able to pull his eyes away.  
The room stayed silent, the commotion outside a distant buzz, the space closed between them, he hadn’t realised he’d moved but they were undeniably closer.  
He could still feel the pain in his throat from memory as he thought about how hard it had been to swallow the lump in his throat, their faces inches apart.  
His eye lids became very heavy and then the moment was ripped from him as his Grantaire exclaimed “Wow, it gave you goose bumps too!” and abruptly flustered out of the room.  
Now he stood in the rented apartment hallway with two carrier bags of basic shopping, his co-actor would want to rehearse here and Ramin would just have to get a grip of himself and get on with it.  
He opens the door to his room slowly and peeps his head round, bravo and alas, Hadley had not fallen asleep partially naked in his bed, not that he’d have a decent excuse to slip in with him when well rested in the early evening with another unlocked room just feet away.  
He distracts himself with the shopping, putting the food items away, he’s about to put food on to cook when he suddenly remembers that he’d been bursting the entire drive back.  
It isn’t until he walks into the room that he realises that the bathroom and not the other man’s bedroom had been the source of music.  
The bathing brunette is blissfully unaware of his presence, judging by the activity he’s partaking in, eyes shut and mouth slightly open.  
The music is blaring out so loud he probably didn’t even hear him return, he can’t seem to move or drag his eyes away and instead he shamefully takes in the wet naked body.  
Lightly tanned skin and toned torso, he lets his eyes scan lower, he feels the heat rush through him as he watches the man stroke himself.  
A shiver of shock and pleasure courses through his veins when his eyes find the other hand, and he feels his pants constricting him as the other man lifts his knees higher.  
Ramin feels himself gasp involuntarily at the sight of him curling a finger into himself as he arches his back, head pushing back against the ridge of the bath tub, eyes screwing tighter and biting down on his bottom lip, he can almost hear the little moan that escapes.  
Ramin almost loses it at the sight and quickly closes the door, he’s pretty sure Hadley isn’t done and wasn’t aware of his presence so he strokes himself the other side of the door, the risk of being caught only seems to heighten the excitement.  
He’s done, cleaned himself up in the en-suite and begun dinner long before Hadley appears, only his lower half dressed and his hair dripping little rivulets over his skin.  
He knows it’s ridiculous but sometimes he feels like his best-friend is taunting him, flaunting himself, his eyes flicker away from the partially clothed body.  
He keeps his mind and sights focused on the food, avoiding looking at him “Hungry?”  
“Mhmm.” He smiles “How have you been?”  
“Okay.” He answers, concentrating on the dishing up “You?”  
“I don’t believe you.” He retorts.  
Ramin turns quiet, silent panic sets in at the prospect of his cover being broken, he isn’t ready to lose his best-friend, he can’t deal with another loss so soon.


	2. Failing relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadley smiles to himself over the washing up, things don’t seem so bad here, sure his life is falling apart and Ramin has the perfect Zumba-bodied wife dat ass tho and two gorgeous kids, but he is still his best-friend and right now here with him everything feels like it's going to be okay.  
> He could follow Ramin around for most of this year and next in preparation for Phantom of the Opera and then there would be more gigs and tours.  
> He could always find a valid reason for following around his talented co-star like some love sick puppy, he then realises how despairingly Grantaire he’s becoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer chapter this time, hopefully the others will be around the same length or longer.  
> I'm aiming to do a chapter a week, enjoy.

“I just need to settle back into work I think.” He places the plates on the table and takes the seat opposite.  
“I can read you like a book, I know what’s wrong.”  
He freezes up “I’m fine.”  
“So you’re still having trouble with Mandy?”  
“You scare me sometimes.”  
“It’s not hard to work out, things didn’t sound good between you when we spoke last week.”  
“Yeah, sorry about that.”  
“Don’t be, me being your first choice for drunk dialling flatters me.” He chuckles.  
He cracks the first genuine smile of the day “Me calling you up emotional and drunk is flattering?”  
“Well it’s nice to know you feel you can talk to me, and you’re amusing when you’ve had a few. You can talk to me when you’re sober too y’know.” His hand finds Ramin’s and he gives it a little squeeze, they linger a while watching each-others fingers caresses their hand.  
“I know, I just want to forget it for now. I want to enjoy being away from it all.” He smiles again briefly as he pulls his hand away.  
Ramin relaxes as they eat, conversation, laughing and joking come easily as if they’d been together rather than in separate countries for the past few months, that is until Ramin drops the question Hadley had been dreading.  
“How’re things with Rosie?”  
He sighs into his food, fork hovering and fringe flopping over his eyes as he hangs his head.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Everything. The engagement’s off, we’re just finding the right way of telling people.”  
“What happened?” he listens intently, hoping the information will give him some way of fixing things, as much as he wants the man for himself he wants more for him to be happy.  
“we’re just not really happy together anymore…. And then she told me she’d slept with someone else while we were doing our first Sheytoons tour. She wanted to ‘work on things’ but the fine print included me quitting all this and I’m not prepared to do that.”  
“What do you mean ‘quit all this’?” he frowns.  
“Show business, you!” he scoffs slightly, shaking his head and returns to stabbing at his food.  
“Me? You mean Sheytoons and your main job, that you’ve worked really hard for, that makes you happy, that’s been your dream since you were a boy?” he asks a little dumbfounded.  
“Yup, all of that and she wants me to spend less time with you as a friend.”  
“She can’t expect you to give up your life for her, she doesn’t own you!” his frown deepens, he takes Hadley’s lead and takes out his frustration on the pasta.  
“Calm down, Enjolras! Drink with me?!” he half jokes, a small out of desperation in his laugh.  
Ramin smiles “I’m sure Enjolras would look at you with complete disdain and pity right now, but the subject of spouses has got me feeling equally as solemn, so crack open the bottles!”  
“Do you know if we have any?” he shoves the last few twists of pasta into his mouth.  
“That’s a good point, I guess I’ll have to do another shop run.”  
“We could go out-out?”  
“Out-out?”  
“Why not, it feels like so much is changing for the worse so why not make a small change for the good?”  
“Yeah sure, let me shower and get changed first.” He finishes the last mouthful and collects up the bowls.  
“Let me do that, you cooked.” He takes the bowls and as their skin brushes together he musters all his energy to avoid throwing the bowls dramatically across the room and jumping him “Are you okay?”  
He realises that he’s thinking very graphically about table top sex with the younger man who is looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.  
“Yes, fine, thank you. I’ll go shower.”  
“I’ve missed you!” Hadley laughs, showing off his white teeth before starting the washing up.  
“I’ve missed you too.” He replies, still stuck to the same spot “Give me half an hour.” He can’t resist touching him as he passes, giving the man’s bare shoulder a light squeeze.  
Hadley smiles to himself over the washing up, things don’t seem so bad here, sure his life is falling apart and Ramin has the perfect Zumba-bodied wife dat ass tho and two gorgeous kids, but he is still his best-friend and right now here with him everything feels like it's going to be okay.  
He could follow Ramin around for most of this year and next in preparation for Phantom of the Opera and then there would be more gigs and tours.  
He could always find a valid reason for following around his talented co-star like some love sick puppy, he then realises how despairingly Grantaire he’s becoming.  
An hour later they find themselves propped up against a small club bar a bottle of red wine between them, they intend to drink the one and make their way back but the lower the wine level the more they talk.  
Hadley prefers this to drunk dials, he can take in the man’s expressions and be there for physical support, Ramin slurs a few more declarations of love than he would over the phone with an arm hooking around his almost as inebriated friend and clumsy staggering hugs as confirmations of reciprocation are returned.  
It’s not awkward or unnatural as they pre-consciously shift their seats closer or when one strokes a hand over the others on the bar or a hand squeezes a shoulder or caresses a cheek.  
The original plan of ‘just a few’ is ditched as they order another bottle, the night is too early and happy to ditch yet, the duo are the most relaxed either have been over their months apart.  
Both confess their current dilemmas, Hadley’s loneliness and Ramin’s failing marriage how they’ve lost interest in each other, how they haven’t had sex in over a year and are staying together solely for the kids, a mutual agreement that was slowly loosing it’s charm.  
They laugh and joke together over their current situations concerning their home lives, confess their guilty relief at being away from family.  
When a couple of fans recognise them they smile for photographs and sign autographs, another bottle of wine appears when they look up confused the pair wave at them before they exit.  
The complimentary bottle goes down smoothly and it’s not long before they start teetering on their bar stools and snatch up a private booth, sat so close they could occupy a single chair.  
It’s almost three by the time they’ve got back to the apartment, trying to hold each other up when they get out of the taxi, Hadley trips up a stone step and Ramin comes down with him.  
They stay rolling around on the floor giggling like a couple of teenagers until a man from the apartment above theirs shouts at them out of the window.  
Once inside they sober up a little until near four in the morning, they dwindle not wanting to end the good mood.  
“We should probably try to sleep soon. One more day of freedom and then it’s into the grudge of constant rehearsals and ‘creative changes’ aka changing a bunch of stuff last minute.” Says the sobering Englishman.  
“I guess you’re right. Tonight was fun, we should do it again, when we’re not working?”  
“Sounds great.” He smiles, tapping his fingers on his empty water glass “Goodnight then.”  
“Goodnight.” He stays in the kitchen a while longer, sipping at his water and staring into space.  
Eventually he makes to return to his room only to bump into his friend in the hallway, wondering around freshly washed and half-dressed, again.  
“Sorry, night.” The door is almost closed when a hand reaches out jarring it.  
“Ramin?”  
He opens it again “What’s up?”  
“Can I sleep in with you? Or you with me?”  
“What for?” his heart hammers at the vivid memory.  
“I’m lonely. I sleep better with someone else there, I feel like I’ll be up all night if not. But it’s cool if that’s too weird or whatever. Actually don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. Goodnight.” He brushes it off obviously embarrassed.  
He takes in the man’s fatigued body-language; the dark circles under his eyes and fake smile, he’s good but not good enough to fool his co-star and best-friend.  
“Hadley.” He catches his descending arm “It’s fine, is in here okay?”  
His hair bounces as he nods thankfully “I’ll just grab my phone.”  
“I’m gonna get ready for bed, make yourself comfy. I won’t be long.” He disappears into the en-suite.  
When he comes back ten minutes later the other man is texting in bed, he looks up to smile, eyes heavy with need for sleep.  
“Ready for lights off?”  
“Mhmm.” He stretches, putting the phone down.  
The lights are switched off and he climbs into the bed “Are you okay?” he whispers.  
“Just tired.” He yawns out the words.  
“Sweet dreams.”  
“Nu-night.” The man mumbles back almost asleep already.  
Ramin lets his eyes adjust to the darkness and then he watches as Hadley drifts into peaceful sleep, snoring lightly after only a few minutes, how he smiles in his sleep and how he scrunches up his nose cutely when his fringe flops over his face tickling his skin.  
Ramin shamefully inches closer on his back hoping that the unconscious man might use him as a pillow once more.  
Eventually he falls asleep he’s not sure when, but when he wakes he feels no warmth on him and when he blinks his eyes open he sees the empty space.  
He groans feeling unrested as he forces himself upright, what is this man doing to him?  
“Breakfast?” Hadley calls as if he can feel the man’s mind rebooting all the way from the kitchen and that’s when he smells bacon.  
Being perfect, that’s what his annoyingly beautiful and charming best-friend is doing, unintentionally seducing him with his perfectness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback is appreciated =)


	3. Good and not so good performances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I..” he desperately scratches at his mind for an excuse “I don’t know. It’s been a long day, maybe I’m just tired.” He tries.  
> “Maybe.” Ramin says disbelievingly, an eyebrow raised questioningly.  
> “I’m just feeling deflated. You should go celebrate, I’ll see you later, yeah?” he smiles, more convincingly this time, almost fooling himself.

The next day both spend half of their morning groaning and squinting over coffee; tea and bacon sandwiches.  
They both feel the effects of the alcohol Ramin more so, his head pounding though both aren’t sure if it’s entirely down to the obscene amount of wine consumed or his lack of sleep.  
Their phones start to go off from the bedroom but neither feel like moving.  
“I think I’m getting too old for wild nights out.” He mutters into his coffee.  
“Wild, I wouldn’t say it was wild. Grantaire would laugh in your face if you called that wild.” Hadley laughs sliding a hangover remedy towards him.  
“Maybe it wasn’t wild, but I do feel like I’d still fail a breathalyser test.” He smiles, though it’s dangerously close to a grimace.  
“Thank you.” he breaths, downing the pills.  
They share a synchronised grumble when the ninth call sounds, Hadley is the one to push himself up from the table despite it being Ramin’s phone they hear.  
The youngest of the pair can no longer stand the ringing and vibrating of mobile phones, he accepts Killian’s call.  
“Hey.” He croaks.  
“Answering his phone too now Mr Hadley Karimloo. I bet you cooked him breakfast and pressed his shirts too.” He mocks light-heartedly.  
“I’m too hung-over to defend our domestic habits.” He laughs uncomfortably, like he’s been caught doing something embarrassing.  
“How’s your other half?”  
“He’s groaning into coffee, he hasn’t moved from the table since he got up. I’ve just been putting fresh coffee and bacon in front of him occasionally.”  
“Ah domestic bliss!”  
Hadley can feel the man’s mischievous smirk radiating in his voice, “Shut up, Donnelly.” he grunts back good-humouredly.  
“Text me the address and I’ll come over, I’ll get the old man moving?”  
“Yeah okay, see you soon.” He mumbles hanging up and texting the address.  
He replays the conversation in his groggy mind, blushing though there is no real reason to, his eyes flit over to the shirts hung on the door and he can’t help think that they do need ironing, he mentally slaps himself.  
“Killian’s heading over, I’m going to get a shower.” He calls, hoping it’ll clear his mind.  
The coffee cuddler sighs loudly, though he’s partially relieved to be given the push he needs to get moving.  
When he arrives, despite their initial ignoring him, he’s in good spirits, catches them both in a hug and gets them laughing before he gets onto the subject of rehearsals.  
The weeks pass, busy and full, everyone comes close to throwing a tantrum over script changes at some point or another, there is one or two actual tantrums and plenty of tears.  
It’s stressful and sometimes tedious but the nearer they get to the show, the happier and more prepared they are, excitement begins to mount.  
By opening night everyone is skipping around manically; with jittery anticipation; throwing up over first night nerves or panicking over difficult lines; lost props or ill-fitting costumes and the likes.  
Ramin is trying to remain calm, locked in his dressing room going over lines to get set in character.  
Hadley takes a leaf from Grantaire’s book and simply tries to relax, he plays guitar and when he grows bored of that he turns to showing off in front of the mirror, practising his inebriate-style of dancing and staggering, prop bottle gripped firmly.  
He feels the tremble of the orchestra before he hears it, the show opening and suddenly his confidence is knocked, he feels the sudden nerves building up making him feel queasy, the bottle almost slips from his hand.  
He goes with his instinct and finds himself outside Ramin’s dressing room, he knocks apprehensively “Come in, you good for nothing fool!” shouts a young playful voice followed by laughter.  
He smiles, it seems he was not the only person as he opens the door to find most of the barricade boys inside, including extras.  
He staggers in unintentionally, part accidental keeping in character and part sudden stage fright.  
“Grantaire, put that bottle down!” winks Ramjolras, putting an arm around him as do several other friends and close co-actors.  
“I wish it was a real bottle.” He tries to smile.  
“What’s up?” asks Ramin, Enjolras falling to the waste lines.  
“WE CARE ABOUT YOUR LONELY SOUL!” shouts someone from the commotion of young men on the other side of the room, probably Killian, Alistair or Jamie who are all beaming, the perfect picture of camaraderie.  
He throws them a playful false look of disdain before smiling and turning back to his concerned friend “I was fine then the nerves hit me like a brick. I’m scared I’ll screw something up, like maybe I’m not good enough.”  
“Sounds like you got a little too into character. You’re going to be perfect, you understand the character more now than ever, loneliness and self-doubt coated in humour. You’re going to be great!” he assures, cupping Hadley’s face enthusiastically.  
I understand his feelings towards Enjolras too, he thinks to himself, he feels some confidence creep back and the queasiness passes and is replaced with tingling warmth when Ramin pulls him into a quick hug.  
They laugh and joke until their stage cue, everyone is jittery with nerves especially for a first scene before they get into the swing of things and relax a little, the crowd is huge and pressures are high.  
There are no hick-ups, everything much to everyone’s relief goes perfectly, the crowd react as planned but for one or two people who take photographs, one of Ramin’s biggest pet peeves luckily this only helps to intensify the passion and presence of his character.  
Ramin fights not to show more love towards Grantaire, he knows the loneliness in his eyes also belongs to Hadley, he aches to comfort him but he holds back, no more than the occasional touch and an arm around him as they leave the scene.  
(After first show)  
The crowd is a loud buzz of cheers and claps as the pair stand together for curtain call, reaching out to clasp each other’s hands and swap admirations for performance, all red cheeks and elated smiles.  
Neither let go until the red coated leader is pulled forward, they let go apprehensively their fingers grazing and Ramin glancing over his shoulder, his best-friend smiles back encouragingly.  
It’s not until after the crowd screams that Hadley looks down and his empty hand and sighs, another whole day and evening before he gets to hold tightly onto his hand for a legitimate and unsuspicious reason.  
The rest of the excitement rushes by in a whirlwind and the two men find themselves back in their own dressing rooms a little light headed with the exhilaration and sudden stop in activity and attention.  
It’s only a few minutes before the loneliness and hopelessness of one man’s character creeps back into his demeanour, he stares at himself in the mirror costume still on.  
The only thing missing is the signature bottle of wine and he can’t help thinking that the bottom of a bottle is what he’d like most right now, well not most, he knows exactly what he wants most but it’s not ever going to happen so why not drown his sorrows.  
Ramin can still feel the tingling and fuzzing feeling he gets when he knows he’s done his character justice, when the crowd cheers and when he can share in his triumph standing side by side with the only person he loves as much as his own children.  
He can still feel where Hadley’s rough hand had been in his own, when he closed his eyes he could still feel the other hand on his cheek and ghosting over his chest.  
Blood still pumps rapidly through him, only heightened at the thought of the man, he wonders where he’d rushed off to.  
As the curtain had fallen he’d expected him to be there behind him still, but he’d only caught a brief glimpse of the soft brunette hair as it bounced out of sight, lost in the milling sea consisting of the very animated and victorious London Company.  
He wants to share his lingering pride and accomplishment, to flatter his co-star so he decides to hunt him down, forgetting to change out of his costume and instead rushes from his dressing room in his state of glee, beaming and exchanging compliments with others as he passes.  
Hadley has just shrugged out of his waistcoat and is undoing the last button of his shirt when he hears the knock at his door, unmistakably Ramin’s knock, he recognises his guilty love interest by the way he knocks on doors, he has a problem.  
“Uh, come in.” he shakes his head hopeful that it’ll shake the negative thoughts away “I’m getting changed.” He warns, but Ramin is already closing the door behind him.  
“That was great! You were great!”  
“You were wonderful.” He smiles.  
“Yeah, you too. How come you left so fast? People were asking after you.”  
“I..” he desperately scratches at his mind for an excuse “I don’t know. It’s been a long day, maybe I’m just tired.” He tries.  
“Maybe.” Ramin says disbelievingly, an eyebrow raised questioningly.  
“I’m just feeling deflated. You should go celebrate, I’ll see you later, yeah?” he smiles, more convincingly this time, almost fooling himself.  
“I’d rather stay here and talk to you. You can tell me stuff you know, if you want to tell me anything?” he asks albeit a little awkward.  
“I’m fine.” He lies “I think I’ll just try to sleep. I’m exhausted.” That’s true for the most part.  
“So there isn’t anything you wanted to talk about?” he pushes, he’s started so he may as well persevere.  
“No..” he answers feeling anxious and it shows.  
“You can tell me anything.” He prompts and waits with an air of demand and care.  
He freezes up, something is wrong, Ramin knows something or thinks he does, he can’t give himself away “Rosalie is seeing other men, if that’s what you’re getting at.” He says turning away.  
“Hadley?” he puts a hand on the man’s shoulder.  
“What?!” he snaps.  
“Just tell me, please?” he pleads, squeezing the muscular shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t want to drag you down, go and celebrate.” He commands, his voice is cold if a little wobbly.  
“Look I saw you.. in the bath, the first day you got to the apartment. I saw what you were doing.” He blurts.  
“You saw me? You mean.. shit.” He covers his face with his hands as he mutters curses.  
“Are you just into that or are you gay? Is that why you and Rosalie can’t make it work?”  
“Ramin I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” he breaks the false nonchalance and presses the balls of his hands to his temples, obviously distressed.  
“You are, aren’t you?” his hand drops, he had already suspected but it somehow hadn’t seemed quite real.  
He covers his eyes with his hand, like a child hiding from a scary film, he chokes back a sob.  
“Do you think about people we know when you do that?” Ramin asks calmly.  
“No, I, oh god.” He’s becoming desperately close to openly bursting into tears.  
“Do you ever think about me, in that way?” he asks, swallowing harshly.  
He turns letting a few tears escape and roll down his paled cheeks “Please don’t do this? I don’t want to lose anyone else.” His voice trembles.  
“Were you going to tell me?”  
“I don’t know, I didn’t have to.” He steps closer and wipes at the tears pointlessly as they’re replaced instantly.  
“So you were just going to lie to me. You were just going to pretend that everything is fine?!” he bites back, sounding angrier than he really is.  
Hadley clutches and clings to the red and gold coat desperately, shouting and begging desperately “PLEASE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS, I WONT TRY ANYTHING, I SWEAR.”  
Ramin fills to the brim with guilt as he hears himself back and how it must sound, the man has no idea he has feelings for him or that he has thought about men in the same light.  
“Hadley! Hadley?!” he tries to balance the man with wet red eyes, who is unsteady and grabbing at him.  
“I’M SO SORRY, I WANTED TO TELL YOU, I’M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON’T HATE ME?! RAMIN, PLEASE?!” he attaches himself to Ramin, as if the man might run away never to return if given the chance.  
“Hadley, it’s okay. Calm down, it’s okay!” he tries to pry the man off of him, to reassure him.  
“I CAN DEAL WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS, I DON’T CARE IF I’LL NEVER HAVE YOU LIKE THAT, I, I need you in my life!” the words become unintelligible as a harsh sob erupts from his chest.  
He can feel the man’s erratic breathing and how he chokes and splutters for air, he shouldn’t have pushed, he obviously wasn’t ready for this, he holds him close and securely.  
“Just. Calm down. I’m going to lock the door now, okay?” he sooths, moving slowly with Hadley’s hands still gripping painfully tight onto him “You can come with me.” He assures flexing his fingers to remind the man that the hug is voluntary, they edge closer to the door.  
He turns the key in the lock and takes out the key, Hadley looks at him confused still sniffling and catching his shaken breaths, he’s guided down into his seat and the seemingly much calmer man crouches before him.  
“Here.” The dressing room key is pressed into his wrenched open palm and he closes his fingers around it, two tanned hands in case it “I’m not going anywhere, you’re in control.”  
“I’m sorry.” He breaths finally able to form words again instead of hysterical gibberish.  
“I need answers once you’ve calmed down, to some questions.” He dabs at the man’s red face “Blow.” He commands holding a tissue out “It’s okay if you need some time.”  
Hadley can’t hold back the childish bubble of laughter, even as he attempts to blow his nose, blocked from ugly crying.  
“Nice to know you’re still in there.” Ramin winks with an easy grin “Dirty English country boy.” He jokes.  
The sitting man doesn’t trust himself to articulate right now, so he wipes the tears and blows his nose several more times through weak laughter of relief, embarrassment and left over hysteria.  
Ten minutes later and he’s regained basic functioning, he even half looks like his usual self, or at least looks like himself as Grantaire, he still looks as sheepish as he feels.  
“So.” The crouching man starts, scratching at his neck awkwardly “We’ve established you’re gay?”  
He nods, not quite maintaining eye contact.  
“And you think about people we know?” he asks tentatively.  
Hadley sighs, his head dropping, face covered by his hands.  
“It’s okay.” Ramin gives his knee a light squeeze and keeps it resting there.  
“It’s not.”  
“It is, I’m here for you. Who do you think about? Who is it you have feelings for? Killian?”  
He takes a long time, the muteness becomes unbearable and Ramin feels like screaming until a hand caresses his own and a silent tear rolls and drips from Hadley’s light stubble.  
“Do you, do you think about me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep referring to Hadley's hair as bouncy, but it is so SO bouncy and soft and lovely, I will continue to do so, at least once a chapter and I'm not sorry.


	4. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He reaches to wipe a leftover tear from the slightly damn red face but his hand doesn’t quite make it, his wrist clamped in mid-air by a slightly calloused hand and vivid bluey-green eyes snap open, made only more beautiful by their frame of dark wet lashes.  
> “You’re the star, you should go.” He states distantly, letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long, I've been a bit snowed under by conventions and coursework, enjoy!
> 
> P.s. This fic gets a little explicit from here onwards ;)

“Do you, do you think about me?”  
Hadley nods before crumpling into tears again, he does his best to comfort the man, shuffling closer he feels shaking thighs vibrate against his ribs.  
The crying man doesn’t respond until he’s tugged down roughly, both close their eyes as they tuck faces into each other’s necks, relieved by the contact.  
“I’m so sorry.” Whimpers a deep hoarse voice, barely above a whisper.  
“Don’t be.”  
They stay in the same position for some time in silence, the occasional sigh or distressed choke are the only exceptions, their reconciliation is disturbed when there is a knock at the door and several jovial voices clashing outside.  
“Oi, Fraser! Karimloo! Stop playing house and get your asses out here!” toys a familiar voice.  
It’s followed by many shouts from other members of the cast and crew, mainly barricade boys “PARTAY TIME!” “DRINK WITH ME!” and other cheerful exclamations Ramin can’t decipher.  
The only response from Hadley is a pained sigh as he pushes them apart and leans back in his chair, eyes still shut.  
“We’ll meet you there!” he replies assertively in his best Enjolras voice.  
There is a murmur of confused hushed voices from the other side of the door.  
He reaches to wipe a leftover tear from the slightly damn red face but his hand doesn’t quite make it, his wrist clamped in mid-air by a slightly calloused hand and vivid bluey-green eyes snap open, made only more beautiful by their frame of dark wet lashes.  
“You’re the star, you should go.” He states distantly, letting go of the man's wrist.  
“I think we’ve had this debate once already.” He says back quietly, undeterred.  
“Ramin, is everything okay in there?” asks Killian, the hallway is now almost completely hushed as they wait for an answer.  
“Hadley’s helping me with something, go on without us, please.” He adds hopefully.  
For a while there is nothing until their friend replies back hesitantly “Alright, if anyone asks I’ll tell them you were held up?”  
“Thank you.”  
“My phone is on and upon my person, if you need anything.” He adds, far too serious sounding.  
“We appreciate it.” He smiles at the locked door, not needing to look to see the worried faces.  
He runs hands down Hadley's thinly clad sides, the shirt sliding over the skin that he knows is much smoother than the calloused hands.  
Before he knows what he’s doing his lips are pressed to the firm stomach again and again.  
The concealed muscles contort beneath his eager lips, Ramin’s hands moving of their own accord to work lose the irritating barrier.  
He stops as the realisation of what he’s doing, the brashness, the impulsivity of his actions hits but he leaves his parted unmoving lips pressed to the light fabric.  
A stunned belated gasp floats down to his ears, hands over his hands, on his shoulders, in his dark hair, so confused and unsettled they convey how their minds feel.  
With effort the dark haired man braces his forehead against Hadley’s chest as if his lips might snap back like a magnet.  
“I shouldn’t have done that, I couldn’t help it, it’s not an excuse I know, but I didn’t mean to.” He gushes.  
“Why did you do that? Why would you do that?!” he sounds almost panicky.  
“Because I can’t stand it any longer. I know you have feelings for me now, there’s a chance. Why should I keep fantasizing? I could just reach out and take it!” he looks up, his eyes blazing with passion.  
“I didn’t know, I never thought.. so you’re gay?” comes a faintly nasally dumbfounded voice.  
“I think I’m bisexual, I never dated many people before Mandy. I experimented, I wasn’t mad about any of them but I didn’t dislike it. Then suddenly I was married with kids and I never really thought about men often, until you came along.”  
Hadley blushes and looks away for a second “I made you think about men in a sexual way again?” before bringing his eyes back, listening intently.  
“You made me think about you, all the time.” He lets his hand rest on his thigh, balancing himself on his heels “-I thought it was just a little guy crush and then maybe just because we spent so much time together, our bromance has become famous among this lot, maybe a best friend bond thing? But it just got worse and more intense and increasingly… explicit. Then things started to go downhill with Mandy and we both knew why, well actually she knew before I did, or I knew but I was lying to myself, once she said it I couldn’t deny that I had feelings for you.”  
Two arms wrap around Ramin's shoulders tightly as the listener surges forward, soft bouncy hair tickling at his bare neck.  
“Ramin, I-“ he pauses unable to let the words come out, just in-case they’re not returned, it’s been said before but now it’s different.  
He feels the hand on his thigh travelling upwards and then his is waist enclosed with warm arms, a soft kiss on his scratchy jaw and leans into it, places his own kisses to the man’s neck, both niggling their way closer until their lips are parallel in their awkward position.  
Their foreheads touch and eyes lock and the world slows down, wanting so desperately to crush their lips together having imagined the moment a thousand times, having waited so long but unable to move any faster.  
Hands cup cheeks and finally they connect with a shaky breath and a quiet moan, it’s only a chaste kiss but it lingers, painfully slow and heart stopping, neither are ready for the end when it comes, it only leaves them wanting more.  
The sitting man has to lean back into his chair again, his head light and vision blurry, he tries to even his breath, to steady his thumping heart.  
While the crouching man keeps his position his only alteration is to inch closer and lay his hands onto the exposed flesh of the open shirt.  
It does nothing to help even out anyone’s breathing it only serves the receiver another hitch in breath and quickens his growing need.  
Ramin's own hands continue to sooth and caress as another pair of hands stroke up tattooed arms and weave into dark hair and down into his shirt luring him closer, he can clearly see the other man's need begin to bulge and his own rises at the thought.  
“Fuck I’m-“ Hadley shifts uncomfortably “I’m-“  
“It’s okay. Me too.”  
His hands work on exposing the soft skin of his torso further and his lips and tongue return to worshipping and teasing this time at hot flesh, the scant hair silkier than the bristle of his stubble or faintly coarse arm hair.  
Hadley’s face is beautiful, lips parting to release little pleasurable gasps and groans, his eyes fluttering closed and facial muscles going taught as he forces his eyes open again just to look down at him for a second before they involuntarily close again.  
He slide’s his hands lower when the hardness continues to strain against the trouser fabric and brushes against him, each time Hadley doesn’t quite manage to control his urge to thrust.  
His fervent kisses tease lower, he’s never done this before but he wants to, he desperately needs to do this, to know how it feels, he wants to see and hear and feel how it makes Hadley feel, how he can make Hadley feel, he’s waited so long.  
His fingers make their way under the waistband and begin undoing the fastenings, the man's boxer shorts coming into view, he’s becoming impatient and moves to pull them open.  
“No, no, wait!” comes a sudden anxious voice, gripping his hands.  
He grits down the needy whine that rises in his throat, so close “What’s wrong?”  
“Don’t you think we should tell them, it’s not cheating I know. I know we’re split but you’re still married, have you talked about seeing other people? Did she know I felt the same? I think I need to tell Rosalie, is that weird?” he blurts unsure.  
Of course he’s sort of right, something about it feels a little guilty though they’re doing nothing wrong, he leans back sitting on his heels, but he isn’t sure telling them is right either, he wasn't sure how he was going to explain this to Jaiden yet.  
“You’re right, it feels sort of like cheating, sort of, but it’s not. Wouldn’t telling them just be like rubbing it in their faces?” he voices his thoughts.  
“I don’t know, I’m so confused.” He wriggles agitatedly on his chair.  
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this now. We’ll cool off, go to the party which we’re very late for. We’ll go back to the apartment, get some sleep and in the morning we can decide how we’re going to approach Rosalie and Amanda?” and Jaiden he adds silently.  
“You look like you might commit murder if you don’t get some now. Are you sure?” he hadn't been blind to Ramin's eagerness, in-fact it was what had pleased him most.  
“You seem pretty keen too.” He smirks indicating the raging hard-on still caged in fabric.  
Hadley’s rosy cheeks burn and Ramin’s own cheeks imitate them against his will.  
“You’re not helping!" he accuses "Maybe you should get off your knees and we may be able to think about something other than what this position implies.” He isn’t able to stop himself brushing his fingers along Ramin's jaw, the gesture begs the opposite to his words.  
“Such eloquence!” Ramin jokes as he kisses the fingers then begrudgingly backs up a little and gets to his feet.  
“I um, I, we should probably-“ He falters nervously before gesturing to each of their crotches as he stands, wobbling slightly with the numbness of his legs and backside.  
“Not quite so eloquent.”  
“Shut up!” he laughs heartily giving his friend a light tap on the shoulder, only the hand disobeys and seems to caress his smooth clean shaved cheek again.  
Ramin manages to hold the hand there just before it tries to retreat, his spare hand cupping the sharp cheek and tilting it upwards, he closes the space between them.  
Eyes locked again, the intensity makes them both shiver and gulp back a painful lump of apprehension before their eyes linger lower to needy lips and back up for a second before their mouths collide and eyes screw shut in bliss, kissing deeply.  
Minds turn to mush and the nothing else exists until they both register the moans uncertain if they’re their own or the other man’s, their bodies are pressed flush, tongues searching, hearts pumping boiling blood loudly and ferociously through their veins and everything feels so right.  
Ramin reaches a hand between them and strokes once experimentally, fingers needle into his neck and side as a cry escapes into his mouth.  
“Do you want me to?” he struggles to contain his lust.  
“Oh god yes, but we can’t… I’ll only hate myself later. I-I-“ he stops suddenly, forcing back the words that try to flow naturally from him “You should get ready. I-“ he growls out a small frustrated sound planting a firm fast kiss on the man and exits into the bathroom like a blur.  
He stands surprised for a moment at the sudden disappearance then stands outside the bathroom door “I’ll umm, I’ll go get ready then. I’ll meet you outside at-“ he checks the clock “half past?”  
“Okay.” Agrees a breathy voice.  
“Hadley?” he hesitates.  
“Oh fuuuuck” whimpers the younger co-star against the door, just loud enough to hear causing intense stirrings “Yes?”  
“I umm-“ all of a sudden his throat feels constricted, like the first time he had stage fright “Nothing.” And he’s dashing back to his own dressing room before he unravels right there against the bathroom door.

Ramin leaves his dressing room finding Hadley waiting right outside his door, a much revived looking Hadley clean and neat in his suit, the only evidence of their earlier revelations is the meagre puffy pinkness framing his bright eyes.  
It should be intensely awkward but it’s not, there is a slight uneasiness before Ramin asks “Are you feeling a little better?” giving his hand a squeeze.  
Hadley scans the corridor uncertainly and coming to the conclusion they’re alone keeps hold of the hand as they walk “Yes. Sorry I was so, so-“  
“Open, caring, passionate, tear-jerking? You’ll be after my role next! Hadley Fraser, The Connoisseur of Les Mis!” he jokes.  
“I think I just cried more than Enjolras cried in a life time, including infancy.” His half laughter rumbles in his sore throat.  
“There’s nothing wrong with crying, I hate seeing you cry and I never want to see you cry like that again, not because of me anyway.” He states seriously, sweeping a comforting thumb over the back of Hadley's hand “But I’m so glad it happened, I’m so glad I know and that you know.”  
“I thought you said you didn’t want to see me cry again!” he retorts humorously.  
“Let’s not talk about it again tonight then, things are a bit raw. We’ll talk tomorrow after we’re rested, maybe then we can think straight.”  
Ramin almost jumps at the bark of thick laughter.  
“What?”  
“Think straight!”  
“You big child! Small things amuse small minds!” he mocks poking out his tongue.  
“Hey, give me a break, it’s been a long day, let me have my petty laughs!”  
“True.” He smiles “One of the best days of my life so far.” As they reach the end of the corridor he brings the hand to his lips a kisses gently before letting it go.  
“Mine too.” He replies dipping his head to hide the blush of his heated cheeks and shoving the rapidly cooling hand into his suit pocket. “Ready?”  
The taller of the two breaths in and out a few steady breaths giving chance for his own cheeks to stop burning “Ready.”

The lavish celebration goes according to plan and several comments are made about how radiant and healthy the pair look, photographs are taken; introductions made; drinks had with friends and of course more than a couple of friends or new acquaintances have a few too many, as is English tradition.  
After festivities die down and guests begin to dwindle, they’re invited along with the other barricade boys plus a few others to private after party-gathering hosted by no other than Killian Donnelly.  
They both politely decline even under the peer pressure of their intoxicated friends and co-stars, they taxi back to their apartment.  
The journey is spent fighting the urge to do the horribly cliché romantic film act of making out on the backseat, instead they perform an act known better among young teens on first dates, they let their hands wonder to the middle seat and occasionally they’re fingers brush while they pass each other fleeting bashful looks.  
By the time they get to their temporary home the two are achingly exhausted both physically and mentally.  
“I’m ready to resign.” Mumbles the older man, toeing off his shoes and shrugging out of the jacket.  
“I’m calling it a day too, feels more like a week!” he mutters, not bothering with any grace and simply kicks off his shoes aiming in the general area.  
“Are you in the other bed tonight?” Ramin yawns.  
“I’d rather be in our-uh yours?” he asks absentmindedly before he realises the implications and turns crimson “I mean just to sleep like usual. If that’s okay?”  
“Of course, I thought it might just be a bit awkward.”  
“I can sleep in the other room if you’d prefer? Until we get things strai-“ he laughs to himself, Ramin catches on and rolls his eyes with a small huff of laughter “-sorted out.” he rephrases.  
“Just get it my bed, you English ninny.”  
“Thought you’d never ask and y’know I don’t think one British person has used the word ‘ninny’ in over a hundred years.”  
He finally sucks up the energy to push himself away from the wall and tries wriggling impatiently out of his jacket that seems to cling stubbornly to his tired arms.  
Ramin stands back for a moment to watch him grumpily flailing in a feeble attempt to remove the offending garment before stepping in behind him and sliding it off expertly.  
“I think it’s time for bed." he says quietly, leaning close to his ear. "You look like Jaiden after he’s spent a few too many nights at sleep-overs, which are very misleadingly named by the way!”  
“Sounds good.” Is all he can muster, as he’s steered to the bedroom that had originally been Ramin’s bedroom and had slowly become their bedroom.  
They break routine and skip showering, they undress on their opposite sides of the bed, semi-naked Hadley flops down heavily onto his back wiggling until he’s in the correct position and Ramin uses the last morsel or energy he has to pull on some pyjama bottoms and climb into bed.  
“Night.” heavily yawns the only just awake brunette, clinging to a pillow.  
“Good night.” He smiles “Hadley?”  
“…Mmm?” his eyes drift closed a few times which he fights against.  
“You can lay on me if you like.”  
He moves as if injected with pure caffeine, the pillow is flung aside and he latches himself to Ramin’s defined chest.  
A vastly muscled and tattooed arm is wrapped around the snuggling man affectionately and they both close their eyes smiling contentedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave feedback
> 
> I'm always wanting to improve my writing skills, so comments are always appreciated!


	5. Snuggle puppies and Awkward Phone Conversation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Today is Awkward Phone Conversations Day.” He elaborates.  
> “I feel you. I honestly don’t know how Rosie’s going to take this. Do you know what you’re going to say yet?”  
> “I’m not sure ‘Guess what wifey, you were right I’m gay for Hadley and on the plus side he’s gay for me too!’?”  
> He chuckles “Could do with some fine tuning. What about Jaiden?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been really sucky at updating this, I'm having some troubles with mental health, family and struggling with college and let it all get on top of me.  
> Unfortunately that means that this is only a mini chapter, I'll try to either get some mini instalments up soon or a decent sized chapter, thank you for your patience!  
> And special thanks to Qirunwei for your understanding and encouragement.

Ramin wakes up to the tickle of soft hair and a comforting warm weight against him, when he looks down Hadley looks up at him with a small smile, he’d obviously been awake for some time.  
“Morning.” He smiles back.  
“Morning.” He rolls back a little so he’s not craning his neck “I panicked when I woke up on you, then I remembered last night.”  
“Mmm,” he stretches lazily, they’d neglected to set alarms the night before and now orange rays are flittering through the gaps around the curtains “I’m glad you decided not to sneak off this time, I always feel cold when you do, that’s what wakes me up.”  
“You knew? Oh god that’s so embarrassing. It’s not on purpose I swear.”  
“You do realise I barely touch the pillow before you’re out of it and cuddling up to me like a bouncy haired snuggle puppy.”  
He groans covering his reddening face as he falls onto his back “Since when?”  
“Since the third night. I think maybe the first night too, I felt that same feeling all cold like something was missing when I woke, but I can’t be sure, I was awake for so long, I even inched closer hoping that you would lay on me again, but you were flat out.” He admits sheepishly.  
Hadley just blushes further, they lay in silence for a few minutes before Ramin lets out a pained sigh.  
“What’s up?”  
“Today is Awkward Phone Conversations Day.” He elaborates.  
“I feel you. I honestly don’t know how Rosie’s going to take this. Do you know what you’re going to say yet?”  
“I’m not sure ‘Guess what wifey, you were right I’m gay for Hadley and on the plus side he’s gay for me too!’?”  
He chuckles “Could do with some fine tuning. What about Jaiden?”  
“I’m not sure, I don’t think he’ll be upset as long as he understands we’re not going to go running off into the sunset without him. I mean, how much do they understand at that age? Is it worth trying to explain or do I just tell him that I lo- umm feel the same way about you as I used to feel about his mum?”  
“Uh-“ he flusters, beginning to search for clean clothes “I don’t know, maybe we should have breakfast first?”  
“Yes, wake up, caffeinate, clear our heads a bit.”

An hour and a half later and they’re sat at the kitchen-dinner table with steaming cups, full stomachs and the lingering smell of bacon.  
“I think the time has come.”  
“Yes, I think I’ll need the sun for this. Good luck.” He stares at the phone in his unsteady hand, like it might morph into a Howler with Rosalie’s voice.  
“For some reason, I feel you need it more than me.” Ramin smiles sympathetically.  
“Well that’s very reassuring, cheers!” he forces a laugh.  
“It’ll be fine.” He gives his free hand a quick squeeze “I’ll bring you more tea.”  
“Ah yes tea, the British comforter, appropriate therapeutic treatment for any situation.” He smiles back with appreciation before slipping out onto the patio area through the French doors, sliding them closed behind him.  
When Ramin approaches the doors five minutes later, hot mug in hand, Hadley is stooped in the metal garden chair his forehead pressed into his palm and hair covering his face.  
He hesitates on the handle, he listens to the strain in the man’s voice somewhere between a plea and a frustrated shout, he lets go of the handle and waits at the table, pouring himself a cup of fresh coffee from the Cafetiere.  
It’s a nail biting five minutes before the patio door slides open so viciously it bangs and bounces back half closed again as Hadley stamps in with an angry frown, slamming the phone down onto the table making it wobble, stands statue still, eyes fixed on the phone.  
“Didn’t go well then?”  
“No.” he replies flatly and flops down onto his chair.  
Ramin pushes the tea forward “Might be getting cold. I was going to bring it out to you, but things didn’t sound so good.” It’s a half question.  
“It’s fine.” He says unconvincingly after taking a sip, his lips doing that cute little twitch they do when he finds something unpleasant.  
“I’ll make you a fresh one. Do you want anything else?” he asks, gently taking the mug from his grasp.  
“She hung up on me,” he begins explaining, Ramin’s question unheard “I don’t think we’re getting her blessing. She thought I was ringing to apologise, to ask we give it another go.” He huffs a humourless laugh.  
“She’ll calm down, she’s just upset.” He abandons the mug in favour for sitting beside his love.  
“Will she? I thought she’d had weeks to ‘calm down’ I told her it was over, was I not clear enough?” he asks, riling himself up, his shoulders tensing.  
Ramin rests a hand over his on the table, which he grips in return “You had a good thing, she still loves you, it’s hard to believe the truth when you feel strongly for someone, you hear what you want to hear. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to be with you anymore, I’m tired of trying to make this work.’-” He quotes perfectly the overheard conversation from many weeks ago “-probably translated in her head to ‘I feel really bad about how our relationship is currently, I wish I could make it work.’ Now it’s undeniable, she’ll have to start accepting the fact that you’re over. I’d be angry and hurt if you told me you didn’t love me anymore.” He strokes a hand soothingly over his neck and rests it on the man’s ever so slightly less tense shoulder.  
“You’re probably right.” He blushes and sighs “At least now she knows, I don’t have to feel a weird sense of guilt for how I feel about you or each time I undress you with my eyes.” He tries to joke.  
“That’s true.” He pokes him in the cheek teasingly “I suppose I should get onto Mandy now, she’ll be finishing her class in-“ he checks the clock.  
“Two minutes.” Hadley answers for him.  
“Two minutes.” He parrots with a quiver of nerves.  
“I’ll jump in the bath and give you some privacy.” He brings the hand on his shoulder to his lips and then holds it in both his hands “Let me know when you’re done, okay?”  
“I will.” He smiles and god how he’d like to kiss the concern from his face.  
Hadley has the same thought, only his relief from guilt permits him to cup Ramin’s smooth face and press a kiss to his cheek as he gets up to exit the room.  
Ramin watches him go and doesn’t pat the call symbol until he hears the taps hissing and the crashing of water hitting the tub.


	6. Another bath... and another confession?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I was thinking about fluff/cuteness-overload or smut but there is a bit of both for you here.
> 
> “Really?”  
> “Of course, you idiot.” He grins, the blush from his cheeks has reached his chest.  
> He doesn’t say anything just shifts closer, his fingers walking up to the man’s shoulders, he kneels on the floor and wraps his arms around the wet torso.  
> Hadley’s forced to lay back again, he’s not complaining, the dry warmth of skin is slightly rough and soothing against his own and there are lips teasing at his neck and jaw.  
> “Mmm. Are you okay?” he closes his eyes, moving into the touch.  
> “I’m more than okay.” He nips gently as he speaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mini snippet, just to say happy holidays to you all.  
> I will get back to your comments soon, I really appreciate the support!

Hadley swears he can hear laughter, not the ‘I have to laugh or I might cry’ type, genuine warm laughter of happiness and liberation, maybe he’s going mad.  
He closes his eyes and submerges himself further into the hot sweet smelling water, he feels tired despite the fact it is only afternoon and he’d slept like a ‘snuggle puppy’ and got a lay-in for once.  
He doesn’t hear the soft rapping at the bathroom door behind him, he blinks himself awake from the not quite unconsciousness as the door handle squeaks gratingly.  
“Hey.” Hadley can hear the smile in his voice, the tiles clink as the places the mug down “Tea. Can I come in?” he’s still half leaning into the room.  
“Of course, thanks. You sound happy, I swear I heard laughing too?” he sits up a little, glancing down at himself.  
“I’d be even happier if you’d used a few less bubbles, honestly I was hoping for another eyeful.” He teases unashamedly, beaming even more as Hadley’s cheeks burn, he perches on the washing basket “But yes, it went well. She mainly taunted me over my self-doubt, like it was obvious you liked me!”  
“It was, is, painfully obvious! She wasn’t upset?”  
“She said she was fine, that she’s happy for me, us. I know she’s upset though, not with me but in general, she knows things will change now. We’re going to talk about it more tomorrow during lunch and then again later when she’s got Jaiden.”  
“That makes sense, she’s a wonderful woman. Rosie too, just y’know, when she isn’t being a diva. How do you think he’ll take it?”  
“She is a bit of a diva, they both are. He’ll be fine, he adores you.”  
“As ‘Uncle Hadley’ not as ‘Daddies boyfriend’.” He frets.  
“He’s barely out of pre-school he hasn’t picked up on any stupid homophobic ideas yet, nor does he really understand relationships, the only difference to him will be not being able to get into ‘mummy’s and daddy’s bed’ on his birthday and Christmas mornings. Well, until I move out. Little Hadley won’t really know any different.”  
He laughs “Imagine if we got married, Hadley Junior!”  
“Would you marry me?” asks Ramin the words sliding off his tongue before he can think.  
His grin falls and he sits up further, twisting to face Ramin “What?”  
“I’m not asking, I mean I am, but not now. I’m sort of married already! I just mean would you in the future, if I asked?” he flusters, thumbing at the indent where the ring had been just half an hour before.  
“I-“ he falters “Yes.” He grabs Ramin’s hand in his own.  
“Really?”  
“Of course, you idiot.” He grins, the blush from his cheeks has reached his chest.  
He doesn’t say anything just shifts closer, his fingers walking up to the man’s shoulders, he kneels on the floor and wraps his arms around the wet torso.  
Hadley’s forced to lay back again, he’s not complaining, the dry warmth of skin is slightly rough and soothing against his own and there are lips teasing at his neck and jaw.  
“Mmm. Are you okay?” he closes his eyes, moving into the touch.  
“I’m more than okay.” He nips gently as he speaks.  
“Want me to get out?” he’s practically purring.  
“No.” he teases with more teeth and hot air, breathing already becoming more rapid.  
“Mmm.” He moans, their breath falling into sync “Get in?” he pleads, his wet hand tugging on one of those wrapped around him.  
“No.” he ghosts his lips to the other man’s making him crane his neck back awkwardly “I want to watch you.” He drags his dry fingers over the slippery skin brushing a nipple.  
It drags a ragged gasp from his lips “Really?”  
“Like that first time I saw you in here, I’ve had so many dreams about that.” He leans forward pushing their hands the length of his torso until they reach his naval just visible below the water where the bubbles have begun to evaporate.  
“You have to too.” He states, looking up at Ramin leaning over him “And take some clothes off.” He smirks.  
“Pervert.” He remarks stripping out of the fitted t-shirt and undoing his jeans in a blur.  
“Because you’re so innocent?” he retorts eyeing Ramin’s hands, one pushing Hadley’s hand down to touch himself the other sliding into his own underwear.  
“I’m a fucking angel, darling.” He moves his free hand back to toy with the hard nipples and lets his head fall with a shaky breath at the first stroke.  
Hadley can’t not touch himself at that, moaning as the water sloshes with the movement “What exactly did you see?”  
“I saw you, your head led back, your hands under the water, at first I thought you’d fallen asleep and then I could see you breathing, like you are now.” He murmurs huskily, grinning smugly.  
“So you didn’t really see anything?”  
“I saw your hands moving under water, your knees coming up. It didn’t leave that much to my vivid imagination.” He wriggles his eyebrows.  
Hadley’s ocean eyes widen as he turns crimson.  
“I saw you using two hands, one moving down between your legs.” He smirks, using his free hand to push Hadley’s lower “I saw you arch your back in pleasure and a flicker of pain when you-“  
“Were you watching me? Did you see me, y’know?”  
“I managed to force my eyes away, it was hard, I was hard or we were hard. You’re fucking beautiful like this! I want to see it now, for real, see if my imagination does you justice.”  
“You really imagined it? When?”  
“On the other side of that door, while I touched myself.” He uses a soap slick shoulder to muffle his moan.  
“Oohhh-fuck. You’re so lucky I like you too, you fucking perv.”  
“I’ve had so many fantasies about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued....


	7. Red; Gold and Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hadley?” Ramin queries with mild concern.  
> He swallows another lump and gives into his impulse, throwing his arms around Ramin’s torso and burying his face into his neck inhaling deeply “Sorry.” He gasps.  
> “What for?” he chuckles, tipping his head back and dropping his own towel in favour of placing his hands over Hadley’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another decent size chapter, sorry to have kept you waiting.

The second show had been just as exhilarating as the first with a little less contagious nausea and pre-stage nerves flying about.  
Enjolras and Grantaire’s ‘moment’ had been like their intense rehearsal, the two unconsciously stepping in closer, Ramin may have let his eyes shutter closed for a long second at Hadley’s touch.  
Hadley may have leant up, his heels leaving the floor and his neck arching back before he remembered the thousands of people staring at their every move and retracted his hand with genuine sadness.  
After the show they receive compliments on the convincingness of their performance “Outdid yourselves with your bromance this time boys, you are the power couple of theatre! But how long til this sordid affair comes to light!” jests Killian with a wink and a clap of shoulders as he passes them in the hall.  
They return to their dressing rooms in a thoughtful silence, Killian’s words playing over ‘But how long til this sordid affair comes to light’ because how long can they keep this quite, do they want to.   
They’ve always been physical, never hidden their admiration of love for each other and now the wall between romantic friendship and romantic sexual friendship is breaking down how long can they realistically be together and not give themselves away.  
“Maybe we should seek council?” Hadley suggests in that way that continues to surprise Ramin, that way that means he knows exactly what Ramin is thinking most of the time.  
“Maybe.” He answers unsure “Who?”  
“Killian maybe? He’s wiser than he acts.”  
“I’ll text him, see you in a bit.”  
“Can I pick you up from your dressing room? Or should I just wait for y-“  
“Of course.” He squeezes the man’s hand before walking off.  
Hadley smiles after him, he jumps as a familiar voice hums in his ear “What’s got you looking so dreamy?”  
“Are you everywhere? Can other people see you, or is it just us?!” he enquires bemused.  
Killian just laughs “I’ll see you tomorrow!” he swaggers off happily into his dressing room.  
“Ramin’s text you, or is about to.” Hadley calls after him.  
Killian turns raising an eyebrow and his face does a strange taught thing as his phone vibrates on the dressing table “We should form some kind of musical all singing all dancing mutant super-hero revolution alliance, it would be spectacular!” he says it with a very serious frown then closes the door.  
Hadley washes quickly, throwing on his everyday clothes and finds himself outside Ramin’s door so fast he can’t remember making the journey, he knocks softly and enters a moment later.  
Ramin smiles from the en-suite doorway, washed and shiny with moisture, a towel in hand.  
“I’ll help.” He blurts, gliding past him and grabbing a towel, he stays in the warm bathroom with one hand caressing the man’s hair, neck, shoulder, back and side before his fingers curl on his hip.  
He belatedly remembers his task and begins to attentively dry the man’s top half, he gets lower and lower until he’s out of his comfort zone, Ramin’s round firm buttocks bare in front of him, he swallows hard at the sight.  
“Hadley?” Ramin queries with mild concern.  
He swallows another lump and gives into his impulse, throwing his arms around Ramin’s torso and burying his face into his neck inhaling deeply “Sorry.” He gasps.  
“What for?” he chuckles, tipping his head back and dropping his own towel in favour of placing his hands over Hadley’s.  
“For this. You smell so good.” He inhales again, pressing his lips to Ramin’s neck.  
“You’re apologising for hugging me?” he smiles at the ceiling.  
“Pretty sure some would consider this taking advantage.” He mumbles against his shoulder.  
“You’re far too cute to be taking advantage, sweetheart. And if I wasn’t comfortable with you touching me, why would I agree to you helping me dry?”  
“You didn’t exactly agree.” He points out nervously.  
“I didn’t refuse, which you know I would have if I didn’t want you to.” He turns around cupping Hadley’s bristly cheeks and kisses him softly.  
Hadley kisses back deeply, then looks down, taking in the full beauty of the man’s nakedness, he gulps and pulls Ramin in for another kiss, this time fierce and passionate.  
This goes on for a few minutes with hands gripping, groping and exploring the available flesh, Hadley occasionally glancing over the man’s shoulder.  
“I’m getting you wet, maybe we should get you out of those damp clothes?” he coaxes with his fingers under the hem.  
“Pardon?” asks Hadley distractedly, eyes fliting to Ramin’s and back to the other side of the room.  
“What do you keep looking at?” if he didn’t know Hadley so well he might be a little offended.  
“Nothing!” he exclaims a little too fast, a blush on his face.  
“Oh.” Ramin gasps comically “Having impure thoughts are we?” he follows his line of sight to the costume rail and questions him with an eyebrow.  
“Really it’s nothing.” He brushes it off, still blushing he pulls Ramin closer lifting his arms.   
Ramin indulges him, hands sliding back under the hem, hands gliding up his chest and brushing the soft skin of his inner bicep pulling the fabric up as he goes and then throws it behind him as he leans in close.  
“Is it the jacket?” he whispers, Hadley goes tense in his arms and when he leans back to look he’s turned a much deeper shade of red “Want to wear it?” he asks, going to retrieve it from the rail.  
He comes back to still blushing and silent Hadley and slides it onto his shoulders then marches him over to the mirror “Maybe you’ll play Enjolras next.” He smiles into Hadley’s reflection.  
Hadley smiles back, he can feel Ramin’s hardness pressing into his lower back and he wants him even more because he knows Ramin wants him.   
A slight smirk appears as the younger nervous man builds his courage “Actually, I prefer you playing Enjolras.” He slips it off his own shoulders and dresses the rightful owner then checks him out again blushing.  
Ramin butt naked but for the sleeveless red and gold military jacket hanging open.  
“I thought you were dreaming, not fantasising you kinky little drunkard.” He laughs.  
He shrugs giddily.  
“Other people are going to have to wear this you know?”  
“I know.” He flushes biting his lower lip.  
“And that’s half the reason it turns you on.”  
“Can I touch you?” he asks longingly.  
“Of course, madman. You’ve been doing exactly that for a while.”  
“I mean-“ he steps so close they’re almost pressed together and lets his fingers brush down his stomach, past his navel until, he tries to swallow down his nerves as he holds eyes contact.  
Ramin gasps and all the slowly building tingling in his groin surges and he unvoluntarily thrusts into the hot palm “Oh god, yes. Please?” he practically begs, gripping onto Hadley’s shoulders.  
Hadley grins, taking charge he manhandles Ramin until he’s pushed against the wall, kissing him hard and greedily, his palm stroking him steadily, slick with pre-cum.  
Less than a minute later Ramin is making the most wonderful noises Hadley has ever heard, needy cries and whimpers, head falling back against the wall each time he strokes his thumb over the tip.  
Hadley gets his attention by holding his forehead against his own, his eyes staring into dark pools “Can I?” he demands licking his lips and flickering his eyes down and up again, reaffirming his meaning with his hand, Ramin quivers beneath him.  
“Yes! Yes! Quickly!” he commands, brought dangerously close to the edge just by the suggestion, he pushes Hadley down to kneel and weaves his fingers into the soft hair, pulling him closer impatiently.  
Hadley teases letting his lips brush the head, Ramin whimpers thrusting forward a little and tugs on Hadley’s hair, Hadley holds his hips in place against the wall and flicks his tongue over the tip, tasting him.  
He tastes good, different to himself, better, he’s hot and firm and- “Hadley, I need- I-“ he sinks down half way letting his cheeks hollow and his tongue curve, a muffled moan of his own humming against Ramin’s aching cock.  
“Hadley I’m, I’m – fuck- fuck – fuck!” he cries out, he begrudgingly removes his hands from the man’s hair so he can retreat, by Hadley grabs one and drags it back, looking up at him, sucking and swiping hungrily.  
Ramin fists his hands back in staring down passionately, his blood pumping like fire surging downward fast and hard, he bucks and his vision statics over as he releases with an almost painful sounding cry into Hadley’s wet hot mouth.  
That’s when the door flies open and two figures one tall and one short come strutting into the room an aura of cheerfulness floating around them “So what did you want to talk about lover boys, I assume Hadley’s wi-“ Killian catches sight of them losing all ability to speak.  
Fra simply gawps with a fast and vast array of emotions manipulating his features until Killian clasps his hands over the hazel eyes as if protecting a child’s innocence, though he seems unable to stop staring and gawping himself.


End file.
